Grace in Holland

Hello sweet friends and family,

We continue to settle into our new Dutch life here in Holland.  In some ways, life feels infused with a new sense of adventure, beauty, hope and anticipation. Earlier this week Jeff and I were debating as to where we might go for Fall break. As we were laying out our options of Germany, France or the UK we shared a moment of beholding just how surreal it was to have these destinations as viable vacation choices.  What a gift.  We aren’t accustomed to being able to offer our WW II obsessed six year old the option of visiting the Anne Frank House for the afternoon.  Surreal.  There is also new inspiration in the everyday;  refreshing bike rides along scenic canals and historic windmills, delicious coffee and stimulating conversation with new friends from foreign places, listening to the hum of the tram behind our home that transports thousands of people to myriads of destinations and beautiful flowers of every shape and hue adorning public cafes and intimate kitchen tables.  These things, and others, serve as vistas of grace throughout each day.

But then there are all the moments in between;  the overwhelming times of standing in the mess and chaos of our new home and feeling totally paralyzed in making any organizational decision, the frustration of finally making that decision only to have whatever has been put into place completely dismantled by a curious one year old.  Or the insanely boring hours of changing diapers, stacking blocks and pretending to be some nasty character from some made-up story in Bella’s crazy noodle.  Not  even sexy Holland can change these realities.  I suppose life is life; Flashes of Heaven amidst an earthly reality.

Earlier this week, as I was enjoying a rare, private moment, Something happened.  This Something came like a light breeze, warming me, refreshing me and then, blew on, leaving me a little ruffled.  I suppose this Something could have other descriptors such as revelation or insight, but somehow these words don’t fully encapsulate the experience.   Here is what I wrote in my journal:

“Today marks the first day that I have gotten still and allowed myself to just “be” in many months.  It’s been a long journey to get here; to be in this place at this time and yet, here I sit.  As I start to get quiet, tears flow; tears of exhaustion, tears of gratitude, tears of longing and tears of joy.  I am bathed in a warm, luxurious sunlight that bears witness to a masterful Creator and for this moment, I am at peace.  All is not perfect, but in this instant, the imperfection is a vital part of this present grace.  It is the imperfection of life and living that has drawn me, opened me, given me eyes to behold that which is true, right and beautiful.  I am humbled, I am awed to think of a grace so encompassing that all ugliness and darkness become transformed into a hallowed backdrop in which beauty, redemption and goodness shine forth more brightly.  Creation itself sings this sacred hymn with every rainbow that shimmers more fiercely in a deeply clouded sky and the star’s light, most bright against blackness.  For this moment, Heaven and earth are no longer divided.

I sit still, not wanting to disrupt this rare, peaceful state that has somehow overcome me.  As I sit, I realize that this state of Something feels more like the presence of Someone.  An ancient prayer rises from within Your Kingdom Come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven.  Amen”

Know that each of you is loved and held deeply in our hearts.  Thanks for being with us in the journey.

Yours,

Heather

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